So my earliest memories are of when I was 3 and 4. one was of me squeezing a tube of hand cream into the toilet and watching how it made long white worms in the bottom. Of course I didn't flush to hide the evidence, so I was busted. I remember sitting in the kitchen chair being asked about it and denying I did it, even though there was nobody else to blame, so it must have been 3 as my younger brother is 3 years younger then I. Speaking of my younger brother, Michael, the next memory I have is of a wooden railing that slid under a mattress of a single bed to keep babies from rolling out. I was just standing there, looking at him and I decided to sit on the railing and it breaking. I also remember my parents weren't too impressed with that. Nobody got hurt, so no big deal, other then it broke. The only other memory I have from that time period is standing in front of a vinyl recliner, bent over with my face buried in the seat crying because mom and dad weren't anywhere to be found. mixed with this memory are spotty images of seeing their heads walk by the bow window in the end of the trailer, I'm guessing that was them coming back in from being outside.
By the way, I grew up in a 1972 single-wide trailer. power blue with white roof line trim and bottom skirt. my dad and uncles built an addition over where the front door was and turned it into a 3 bedroom home with a large storage room/entry way. It wasn't much to look at, but it was home. It was put on .97 of an acre. I remember that because my dad could never build a regular house on that plot because local code said you needed a full acre to build so other then selling and moving, the trailer would be it. It was on top of the west hill above a little town in the valley in western NY. it was quite isolating, but also I realize now just how freeing it was to live "in the middle of nowhere" my friends would come up and we'd go hiking thru the woods, follow streams and just walk for miles in any direction. very little traffic to deal with. . .there was even one time my best friend just whipped it out as we were walking down the center of the road about 2am, and started pissing while we were walking . . .lol If I knew them, what I know now, I think I'd have appreciated it much more then I did. All I wanted to do was to be in town to have more access to do what my friends did.
So, next, I guess, would be kindergarten. I met my best friend, John, in Kindergarten and we've been friends ever since . .. it's also when I had my 1st crush. Jamie was her name. There were 5 or 6 different white tables, I was assigned to the white circle one in the back corner, and she sat across from me. no idea what made me pick her. . . and I'm sure she asked herself the same question. I say that, because my other 1st started about the same time, and that was kids being cruel. I was a chubby little boy and because of this, I was picked on throughout most of my scholastic career. I didn't encounter anything major until 1st grade when Scott decided he wanted to see what a chubby belly felt like, so he drew back and punched me as hard as he could. left me breathless for what seemed like 10 minutes, but it was probably less then a minute. . . I didn't cry, I just caught my breath and caught up with the rest of the class, who were on their way to lunch. (Scott and I were at the end of the line leaving the classroom) I also got to experience being picked last in all the games and being mocked and made fun of. sooo, back to kindergarten. . Mrs Vanette had this dragon puppet in a popcorn tin she kept on top of the room divider. If we were quite during circle time, she'd bring him out and he'd tell us stories. This was one of my favorite memories. . . it also happened to be, during one of these story times, that I received my 1st reprimand from my teacher. . . it seams that "being quiet" did not include me talking to John. lol
On to 1st grade. Mrs Gregory was a nice enough woman. not a whole lot comes to mind when I think about it, other then Scott sucker punching me in the gut, but I also remember there was an accordion wall that separated the classrooms and John happened to be on the other side of it. Not much I could do, but I was now alone again and didn't really have any other friends at the time, but I made it thru, quite uneventfully as nothing else really retained in memory.
2nd grade was Mrs. Foreigner and being reunited with John and adding David to my shortlist of friends. David was a little different and picked on also, so we naturally became friends. David had hearing aids and again, kids are cruel, especially to people who are different then them. the 3 of us got into sooooo much trouble in that class. at one time we had our desks pushed together forming a triangle in the middle, and we'd all sit in the middle on the floor. Now this was a very memorable year. The 3 of us all hung signs up around our desks saying we hated school and whatever our young minds could come up with. It was also the year we were really getting into spelling. . and the spelling workbook . . . and me finding out I really really hated homework. long story short, I hid the book in one of the many boxes of things my mother had hoarded in the closet of my bedroom and got away with saying "I lost it" for about 2 weeks. it was also the year my dad thought it was a good idea to get us cats for Christmas . .. we woke up and came out to find the tree knocked over and these 2 furry little menaces . . .I, of course, named mine Jamie, nope, I didn't forget about her . . lol. anyway, so I was getting low on excuses for my teacher and was feeling confidant that I had successfully pulled off not doing work in my spelling book for 2 weeks when I offered up the excuse that my new cat must have dragged it off somewhere. . well, that prompted a note home to my mother (which I hid behind the stereo cabinet in the storage room/entry way . . and later a phone call home to my mom. . needless to say I was grounded for what seemed like forever, which was probably only a week or 2. and I brought the book in the next day and had to stay after every day until i was caught up (which was unheard of for elementary school) I also remember being one of 3 students who were left behind during recess to write something 100 times . . . I don't remember the sentence but it was probably something like I won't talk while the teacher is talking .. . or something like that . ..
3rd grade I'lll have to come back to later on, because I don't even remember the teachers name . .
4th grade was Mrs Blum. That was the year of embarrassment. My parents didn't have much money and we made do with what we had. . . and tight pants were included. I had gained more weight and it was getting harder to fasten my pants . . and I wasn't in jeans yet, so tight dress slacks are never a pretty sight. so Mrs blum sent me to the nurse to see if I could either have my parents bring me another pair or if she had ones bigger that would fit me better. it ended up being the latter. it was also that year that she recieved a phone call and told me I needed to go to the nurse. I was an insistant little bugger and kept begging her to tell me why . . finally she says "Becuase they found lice in your brothers hair and they want to check you. . . I was mortified. . and of course they found them in mine . . actually, they didn't, they found dandruff and said it was nits. . . either way, the damage was done and I was harassed for yet another thing and me defending myself saying it was dandruff didn't help, just more fuel for the fire. And then there was my next crush . . Tricia. I was 9 and had no idea how to approach the opposite sex so I somehow thought asking her how much homework she had every night as we were lining up to leave would be the right way to get to talk to her. . . it seems its not . . or at least, it didn't work for me . . .she had her friend, Tammy, tell me she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I 1st noticed her at a skating party, I'm sure you've seen the slow motion dreamy seaquence in movies when you see her and she flips her hair . . blah blah blah . . yeah, that was her as she was skating by. Never really talked to her again until my 25 year class reunion and then it was just hi and bye. this was also the year I tried out for band, made it and was assigned the trumpet. again, not having money, my parents were able to get a Coronet from my uncle Tom. it was tarnished and not the same, but the school agreed it was ok. I ended up only going to like 4 classes before my parents pulled me out because of poor grades. I just don't think they wanted to hear me practice, but either way, that was my brief step into music.
5th grade was Ms Hillard. . who ended up getting married and becoming Mrs Cox. She was a very tall woman who took no nonsense from nobody. hard to believe someone married her. . lol not much to report there either.
6th grade was the 1st teacher I thought was pretty and her name eludes me at the moment. this is where we really started switching classes and I started noticing the other kids I was in school with. mostly the girls. none really stood out, but I was becoming more aware of my surroundings. This was also the year our teacher took everyone to Darian lake amusement part the week after school ended for the summer. it rained and we all had to wait for our parents in wet clothes. We watched Top Gun on VHS and is still one of my favorite movies.
6th grade was the 1st teacher I thought was pretty and her name eludes me at the moment. this is where we really started switching classes and I started noticing the other kids I was in school with. mostly the girls. none really stood out, but I was becoming more aware of my surroundings. This was also the year our teacher took everyone to Darian lake amusement part the week after school ended for the summer. it rained and we all had to wait for our parents in wet clothes. We watched Top Gun on VHS and is still one of my favorite movies.
Jr and Sr high shool all kind of runs together, so much going on, changing classes, no real one place to stick memories too. It was 7th grade English that I really found reading. Loved The Scarlet Letter and The Outsiders. I didn't care much for Tale of Two Cities, but everyone has different tastes. Our English teacher was a skinny man with a full beard and huge, curly hair. you could see him every morning and on weekends running down the street in shorts . . . shirtless . . .not a pleasant sight for anyone, but I'm sure that's not why he was doing it. our Science teacher boasted every year that he killed a deer with a ball point pen and kept a pack of cigarettes in his dress shirt pocket with a folded up piece of paper in front of it so we couldn't see the brand thru the fabric. Our health teacher was also one of our Gym coaches . . . who also smoked. Our metal shop teacher was married to our French teacher who were so polar opposites, to this day, I have no idea what they saw in each other. Our Woodshop teacher was awesome and, contrary to the stereotype, had all his fingers. but he would also let anyone who wanted to stay after, work on projects and he had a tall stack of bus passes he'd hand out and tell us just to put an M in a circle for his signature. . needless to say, ALOT of kids supposedly stayed after in his room . . .lol
7th grade is also when we started being cliquey . . I really didn't have any one group I fell into, but I followed John into the "Druggie" group. we all wore jean jackets with the 80's back patches or leather jackets. we all smoked sooner or later and we all hung out between 2 churches across the street before and after school just hanging out and talking. about this time is also when things came to a head between my father and I. We never really got along well. I was always doing something to piss him off or make him mad at me. I got the belt across the bottom more times than I care to remember. this is where I started fighting back. I remember one time, it was winter and there was alot of snow, and like I said, we were in the middle of nowhere. I grabbed my jacked and said I was leaving. he tried stopping me and I slipped out of his hand every time he tried to grab me until he finally latched onto my sleeve and I pulled out but without my jacket which left him standing there holding it . .. between me and the door. I was sooo mad I don't remember what happened next but it was shortly there after that my uncle Joe and his wife divorced and he asked if I could help him with his 2 young kids while he worked. get them on and off the bus and watch them after school and what not. so I was supposed to just be there during the week, but he ended up wanting to go out during the weekends and sometimes went out of town for weeks at a time, so I basically just lived with him until I was 17. He lived just a few miles from my parents and right next to my grand parents, so if there were any serious problems, there were adults not far away. . . .and thankfully, they were never needed. at 15 my uncle was kicked out of his trailer by the owner who's daughter needed a place to live and we moved down into town which I LOVED! I got a 10 speed and road it all over the place. Since I was living with my Uncle, I didn't get paid, so I picked up a job working at the restaurant my dad frequented. My dad the the Owner, Aldo, were close friends and he got me the job. I washed dishes for $5 an hour at 15 and couldn't have been more happy.
Around this time I also got my 1st real girlfriend, Kerry. Her stepmom hated me. we were together off and on for about a year. then I met Kym. She was my 1st. She went to school in the neighboring town. I met her thru a mutual friend. Her parents seemed to like me well enough. Her father was a smartass and would harass me incessantly . . .which, I'm told, he only does that to people he likes. Kym was the only woman I re-dated more then once. . 3 times to be exact. the last time was when I was just out of school and we lived together for about 5 months and we finally decided we were much better at being friends then lovers. there were a few others in between, nothing serious though.
At 17, I met one of my cousins friends and she became a crush. I talked to her about dating but said she couldn't even consider it because of the distance. So, as a young, hormonal teen, I asked my aunt if I could live with her and help her out around the house and finish out school in the town of Attica. (so that I could be closer to Erin) once this all went down, I asked her again, she kept putting me off and nothing substantial came of it. I ended up getting kicked out of school there because a woman I didn't want to date wouldn't take no for an answer, convinced her best friend to play along with her and pretend like they were high and then told the VP that I gave them "speeders" which I let slip to her that I had taken a hand full of caffeine pills from my uncle when I left. so next thing I know my aunt is bringing them down to the school, handing them over to the VP and I get called into a BIG meeting with all the bigwigs and being told if I left quietly and went back to Dansville, that the police wouldn't be brought into it. But, before this happened, I had another girlfriend, Jess, who I ended up getting pregnant and her mother gave her a choice to either raise the child by herself or allow her to pay to have it aborted because she refused to be a young mother raising a young mother. so at 18, I could have been a father, but everything happens for a reason. . and I agree, I wouldn't have been much of a father at 18, but I would have done my best. . . anyway . . .
At 18, I moved back home with my parents, got a job at Perkins in Geneseo and continued on with my life. I met one of my other best friends, Marty there. He has since become a pillar in my life. He is always there when I need something and I try to do the same for him, but he rarely asks. My next girlfriend was Denise. He was 18 years older then me and it was kind of funny how we ended up together. She was a friend of Johns stepbrother Randy. We were all invited to Johns house for thanksgiving and when they told me that Randy and Sharon were bringing a friend and to be nice because she was coming off a bad breakup, I piped up with "Oh! so shes single?!" Johns mom did NOT find that amusing at all. fast forward to Perkins . . it was like my 2nd or 3rd week and I see her come in the door and I'm like, I know her . . .(it'd been like 6ish months since Thanksgiving) and she walks back thru the server station and puts on her apron and goes OH! you work here now too?? thats when I recognized her and we started talking and whatnot and ended up dating. We were together off and on for a few years before she ended up moving with a friend to Tennessee. I really enjoyed working at Perkins. it got me out from doing dishes at the little restaurant in Dansville, to actual cooking. I moved out of my parents and in with Denise for a short time. then into a rooming house in Leicester with a few of the guys I worked with. was a regular ranch style house and we each got a bedroom that locked. we shared everything else, including utilities, so it was about $130 a month. . This is also the last time Kym and I tried to make things work for the 3rd time . . .and failed. I ended up moving out and in with Marty.
I was on my 2nd car, a 89 Horizon hatchback. LOVED that little thing. my 1st one (I bought) was a 83 Chevy Cavalier. The local junkyard garage found it for me at auction. Paid $600 (my 1st loan from a bank) and needed a new tranny after 2 weeks. still, for a cavalier, it wasn't a bad car. The Horizon though. I put Angry mud and snow tires on that thing and still got great gas mileage and I could take that thing everywhere. I even walked it out of 2 ditches in the winter . .. never needed a tow and I went thru 2 engines before I got rid of it. It also taught me that when you lose your dash lights, you've lost your tail lights too . . .Mr Policeman taught me that as I was leaving work one night at 2am. OH! and before that, the Cavalier taught me that when you pull out of a bar parking lot from dropping a friend off after a 6-1am shift, that you MUST make sure you turn your headlights ON or Mr Policeman will pull you over for that also . . .and you get asked alot of questions from that encounter also when you have a huge 19 inch TV in your back seat that you just brought back from Attica from finishing moving out all your stuff and go straight to work. fun times . . . .fun times . .. lol
I was on my 2nd car, a 89 Horizon hatchback. LOVED that little thing. my 1st one (I bought) was a 83 Chevy Cavalier. The local junkyard garage found it for me at auction. Paid $600 (my 1st loan from a bank) and needed a new tranny after 2 weeks. still, for a cavalier, it wasn't a bad car. The Horizon though. I put Angry mud and snow tires on that thing and still got great gas mileage and I could take that thing everywhere. I even walked it out of 2 ditches in the winter . .. never needed a tow and I went thru 2 engines before I got rid of it. It also taught me that when you lose your dash lights, you've lost your tail lights too . . .Mr Policeman taught me that as I was leaving work one night at 2am. OH! and before that, the Cavalier taught me that when you pull out of a bar parking lot from dropping a friend off after a 6-1am shift, that you MUST make sure you turn your headlights ON or Mr Policeman will pull you over for that also . . .and you get asked alot of questions from that encounter also when you have a huge 19 inch TV in your back seat that you just brought back from Attica from finishing moving out all your stuff and go straight to work. fun times . . . .fun times . .. lol
So, summer of 95 I move in with Marty, quit Perkins because my uncle Joe says his boss needs help in asbestos abatement ad pays $600/week. . . I say HELL yes to that! I end up making less and cant move by the time I get home because I'm so sore and since I'm not certified and the boss refuses to pay for it and wait for me to get it, I end up putting crazy miles on my car being a delivery boy before I finally call it quits and beg for Perkins to take me back.
During this multifaceted transition between living and work, the morning of December 2nd I get a call at 5am. Marty brings me the phone and it's my uncle saying there was a fire at my parents trailer and "they" wanted me at the Hospital as soon as possible and then hangs up. I'm sure you can imagine what all was going thru my head . . .WHO is they? Why do they want me there so quickly? Why was My uncle Tom calling me to tell me this? How did he have Marty's house phone#? Are they all dead? couldn't be, they had Marty's number . . whats going on? I fill Marty in and ask him to come with since I'm totally freaked out and have no idea what I'm walking into or who's going to be there. I'm a mess mentally . . .on the way there, my uncle calls my cell phone and I tell him it's me and I'm on my way and he says ok and hangs up again. this just makes me panic even more. Marty is driving, I'm siting quiet in the passenger seat and it seems to take much longer then normal to go 25 miles. but we eventually get there and I walk into the ER looking in every room as I pass . . .ok, I see my mom and my dad . . .and my aunt meets me at the nurses desk and they walk me into an empty room . . . and tell me what happened. there was a fire. it started around the dryer at the back part of the trailer blocking the doorway to the master bedroom where my youngest brother, Chris slept. My mom had been diagnosed with COPD from smoking a few ears prier and slept on the couch so she could do so sitting up and my dad had taken over the bedroom half of the add on. and my other brother, Mike was in the tiny room off the kitchen. it was Chris who woke my mom and brother up screaming fire and for help. The last words my mother got to hear from him was "Mommy, help me!" he was trapped. He was panicked and didn't think of the emergency release handles my parents always told him not to touch. he was 13 and backed into a corner in his closet, scared and just trying to get away from the flames. The coroner said from the lung tissue samples they could get, he died of smoke inhalation long before the fire could have gotten to him, which is a blessing. My mom always called him her little angel because he saved them all . . . even though he couldn't save himself. come to find out, the guy my dad hired to install the heat tape on the water pipes overlapped it which took years to short out, but caused the fire under the trailer which slowly burned along to the propane line that fed the drier. all the years of it running thru copper pipe had corroded a pinhole leak at the elbow fitting behind the dryer and when the fire reached it, blew the fitting and essentially sent a flamethrower across the back hall blocking his path. My dad said that Karma already played out on the man who messed up the installation. he was suffering from something that caused him to need a walker to get around anywhere and that he was unemployed and suffering already. he could try and go after him, but wouldn't be worth it as he would get nothing out of him anyway. Now, onto the blessings. My dad, working at the post office, knew EVERYONE in town. when the story got out, everyone for miles and miles sent cards of emotion and sympathy and heartache and love and support. my grandparents were snowbirds so let them stay in their house while they were gone. people we didn't even know sent money to help with expenses. the outpouring of support and love we got from the community was sooo overwhelming! Between donations and insurance money, we were able to bury Chris and my father was able to put a hefty down payment on a new house in town. I ended up moving in with them to help take care of my mom and to try and reconnect with my family that I had been away from for years. and this is where I'll wrap up the 1st half of my life. there's more, of course. . both after 20 and things I've skipped over that I'll probably come back to later as anecdotes but it seems like a good breaking point.
During this multifaceted transition between living and work, the morning of December 2nd I get a call at 5am. Marty brings me the phone and it's my uncle saying there was a fire at my parents trailer and "they" wanted me at the Hospital as soon as possible and then hangs up. I'm sure you can imagine what all was going thru my head . . .WHO is they? Why do they want me there so quickly? Why was My uncle Tom calling me to tell me this? How did he have Marty's house phone#? Are they all dead? couldn't be, they had Marty's number . . whats going on? I fill Marty in and ask him to come with since I'm totally freaked out and have no idea what I'm walking into or who's going to be there. I'm a mess mentally . . .on the way there, my uncle calls my cell phone and I tell him it's me and I'm on my way and he says ok and hangs up again. this just makes me panic even more. Marty is driving, I'm siting quiet in the passenger seat and it seems to take much longer then normal to go 25 miles. but we eventually get there and I walk into the ER looking in every room as I pass . . .ok, I see my mom and my dad . . .and my aunt meets me at the nurses desk and they walk me into an empty room . . . and tell me what happened. there was a fire. it started around the dryer at the back part of the trailer blocking the doorway to the master bedroom where my youngest brother, Chris slept. My mom had been diagnosed with COPD from smoking a few ears prier and slept on the couch so she could do so sitting up and my dad had taken over the bedroom half of the add on. and my other brother, Mike was in the tiny room off the kitchen. it was Chris who woke my mom and brother up screaming fire and for help. The last words my mother got to hear from him was "Mommy, help me!" he was trapped. He was panicked and didn't think of the emergency release handles my parents always told him not to touch. he was 13 and backed into a corner in his closet, scared and just trying to get away from the flames. The coroner said from the lung tissue samples they could get, he died of smoke inhalation long before the fire could have gotten to him, which is a blessing. My mom always called him her little angel because he saved them all . . . even though he couldn't save himself. come to find out, the guy my dad hired to install the heat tape on the water pipes overlapped it which took years to short out, but caused the fire under the trailer which slowly burned along to the propane line that fed the drier. all the years of it running thru copper pipe had corroded a pinhole leak at the elbow fitting behind the dryer and when the fire reached it, blew the fitting and essentially sent a flamethrower across the back hall blocking his path. My dad said that Karma already played out on the man who messed up the installation. he was suffering from something that caused him to need a walker to get around anywhere and that he was unemployed and suffering already. he could try and go after him, but wouldn't be worth it as he would get nothing out of him anyway. Now, onto the blessings. My dad, working at the post office, knew EVERYONE in town. when the story got out, everyone for miles and miles sent cards of emotion and sympathy and heartache and love and support. my grandparents were snowbirds so let them stay in their house while they were gone. people we didn't even know sent money to help with expenses. the outpouring of support and love we got from the community was sooo overwhelming! Between donations and insurance money, we were able to bury Chris and my father was able to put a hefty down payment on a new house in town. I ended up moving in with them to help take care of my mom and to try and reconnect with my family that I had been away from for years. and this is where I'll wrap up the 1st half of my life. there's more, of course. . both after 20 and things I've skipped over that I'll probably come back to later as anecdotes but it seems like a good breaking point.
